My Story
by slytherensangel26
Summary: Crack fic meant to amuse everyone! Don't take seriously! I've decided to reopen this to store the little sequel I've written. *smirk* Let's have some fun!
1. Burning!

**This is just a little tongue -n-cheek crack drabble I wrote today. It signifies my entrance into the world of Twilght fanfiction. Strangely enough, this is the culmination of a texting conversation I had with fanficrulez in the middle of a Goodwill store. LOL **

**I beg all of you, don't take this seriously. It's only meant to be funny...and a little strange.**

* * *

><p><strong>My Story<strong>

**I'm not really sure how I came to be here. Only that I am.**

**I Amy, a simple fan fiction author, known to others as slytherensangel26.**

**I believe it started with my muse...and something about being chased by some blood thirsty vampire bunnies...the little fairy led them right too me...tempting me onto this site! **

**Next thing I knew, I woke up with a incredible burning thirst in my throat and two ****Quileutes**** standing over me. One had a haughty expression and the other a hopeful look. The younger one was quite innocent looking. He couldn't possibly understand what he'd gotten himself into.**

**But just then I snarled sensing more of my kind in the room. Immediately a soft voice was speaking to me. "It's okay miss. You're in a safe place."**

**Growling softly, I jumped up into a defensive position and glared at everyone. Then I spied my guilt ridden muse. Her blood red eyes glared at me and I snarled back. **

"**What have you done to me?" **

**Immediately a soothing feeling swept over me and then I noticed the vampire in the corner with shaggy blonde hair. **

"**Jasper?"**

**He grinned that crooked grin of his and my defenses fell. "What happened to me? What am I doing here?"**

**"It seems that members of Jacob's pack felt left out by the previous author as they were left without imprints and got sick of being alone." Jasper supplied.**

"**Plot bunnies." I muttered and then glared at my muse again.**

"**Do you have any idea how full my plate is already? As if, writing for the Power Rangers, Star Wars,**_**and**_** Harry Potter fandoms weren't already a work load? Now you've gotten me bitten and turned to a vampire?"**

**My muse looked at her tiny toes and nodded. **

"**Look, I'm not pleased to have another leech here either," Leah said in a not so pleasant tone. "But your muse spoke highly of you and I'm so done with being alone. You've got to create a man for me to imprint on." **

"**But I just write stories, I don't know how to make them reality."**

**"The plot bunny venom that runs through your veins...it will make the stories come true." Carlisle added in a concerned voice. "It was very rude for them to drag you into our universe and set the vampire bunnies on you. Please, allow us to make it up to you. we can set you up with a small house of your own and your own platinum credit card to buy all the clothes you'll need. Jacob has even offered to set you up with your own fully restored black ford Thunderbird automobile complete with a spoiler and blue undercarriage lights installed." **

**I look them all over. "And you can get me a lightening fast top of the line computer with ergonomic key board?"**

**Carlisle nodded and Jasper grinned at me.**

**I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose and then nodded.**

"**You'll really do it?" Seth asked me smiling brightly.**

**I looked him and his sister over again. "You realize that my stories can get dark, painful and scary before you get your happy ending."**

**Leah scoffed. "Like losing Sam to his imprint wasn't already painful? I'll do whatever it takes."**

**Seth nodded. "It'll be worth it in the end won't it?" **

**I nodded. "Yeah, it'll be worth it."**

**Seth grinned hugely at me and the last of my reluctance fell. How could any one not grant the request of one so pure of spirit?"**

"**Very well then...but I am kind of thirsty."**

**Jasper stepped forward. Alice and I were about to go hunting ourselves. If you wish, you can join us. Alice knew you'd be coming."**

**I sighed. "Alice."**

**Jasper chuckled. "No worries, I know many single nomads. I can introduce you to them."**

**I think I shall adapt to this life style easily enough after all." I said as I followed Jasper out the door. I stopped just inside the door frame and glared at my muse. **

"**You and I **_**will**_** be having words later on, Young Lady!"**

**She gasped at the murderous look on my face and flitted to hide behind Seth.**

"**See you soon!" he said with a grin on his face. **

**Leah only watched me but there was a relieved look on her face. "I hope we won't live to regret this."**

* * *

><p><strong>AN: yeah, crazy right?<strong>

**For anyone who hasn't got the memo, I've taken the plunge and created a facebook page where I've posted pictures and illistrations that have only ever been seen in my mini trailers. Please come join me and feel free to ask me questions!**

**The link is on my profile!**


	2. Embry's Request

**AN This chapter takes place just before Embry Imprints. Enjoy and please remember this is just fun non-sense!**

* * *

><p><strong>-<strong>**Early this morning-**

_Dear Journal,_

_It's been only a month since I was changed and woke up from my burning transformation. I never sleep anymore...so that gives me loads to think about. _

_I miss chocolate and Diet coke, but that's not important anymore. Blood is so much better...but enough of that._

_My muse, the traitorous little goth-pixie has been behaving a lot better since our little talk. Meaning, she's been keeping all her actions as unfitting as they are, away from my house. Meaning I know what she's up to and where she is...with that pixie guy that first turned her, and with all that pixie dust flying around, I've kicked her out of my cottage._

_With the Cullen's generous compensation gift of money, I've brought in the local landscaper to create her own little garden to live in. All that pixie dust irritates my now more sensitvie eyes and I got tired of my possessions floating around._

_I'm still looking..._

**KNOCK KNOCK! kNOCK!**

The sudden noise at door grabbed my attention and when I took in a deep unneccsary breath, I also took in the scent of woodsy musk that I've learned to associate the boys from La Push...or more accurately, the Black Pack.

I got up, tugged at my shirt into place and fixed my hair before I opened the door. The copper skinned young man, I instantly recognized as Embry Call stood on the other side with a slightly hesitant look on his face.

We stared at each other for a few moments more before I stepped back welcoming him in.

He was dressed in an older looking hoodie and cut off's that looked slightly rumpled. I could only guess that he'd just phased and dressed just as hastily.

"Please sit down." I said in a voice that I was still not used to. As he sat in the vintage high backed chair, I went behind my desk, sat down, closed the lid on my lap top and gave him my full attention.

"Now, Mr. Call. What can I help you with?"

I watched and waited while he fought to compose himself. I didn't really understand what about me was so scary...

_Oh wait...yeah. I'm a month old vampire...and my eyes were still making the change to golden yellow. Yeah...that makes sense._

"I'm not as uptight as the other vamps." I prompted trying to ease the tension he was radiating in waves. " You can just speak plainly to me."

That seemed to help him relax...slightly. For a moment I wish I had Jasper's power to manipulate emotions around me. Then I could make things easier on the wolfboy sitting in front of me.

Embry's sudden outburst only startled me for a second...

"I'm sick of being alone. I thought I could deal...and then Leah and Seth got mates of their own. I'm the only unmated male in my pack. I hate being the odd one out. I don't even care who she is. I'll do anything to escape all... that." He gestured wildly but I only nodded in understanding.

I opened my mouth to answer him but he continued." I've tried everything to block it all out I dried drinking to dull the loneliness...but my internal heat burns all the alcohol before it can hit my system. I can't avoid phasing because Jake needs me on patrol and if I can't figure out how to fix these things, I'm gonna lose it. And yes i even tried speed dating and online sites...but all those barbies are the same. None of the have a pull on me. I'll do anything you ask to keep from going insane!"

Through his mini tirade I sat back and listened patiently. When it was over I took off my glasses (they were only for show as my vamp vision was perfect 2020) and laid them on the desk.

"Let me get this straight. You want me to find an imprint for you? Are you sure this is what you want? You do realize that having an imprint doesn't guarantee true love. This could easily backfire on you."

Embry nodded. "Yes. I don't even care what kind of baggage she comes with. I'll deal. Just please tell me you can send me a mate. Even if she's just like Leah. I'll do anything!"

I looked at him for a few more moments.

"You do know that there is a possibility that she won't be a picture perfect girl. I have someone in mind but she's not a perfect 10. I don't do Barbie Dolls."

"That's fine. I don't want a barbie doll. I might accidentally hurt her if she was really that delicate. I want a real lady. Nice and sturdy."

I laughed softly as rested my chin in my left palm. Its a habit left over from my human life.

I was silently giving him a once over trying to decide if the girl I had in mind would be compatible with him.

His eyes hadn't left my face..and he was still as tense as ever. Just then, my muse flew into the room through an open window and landed on my shoulder.

She looked way too pleased with herself and her clothes were slightly wrinkled. She looked him over too and then whispered in my ear.

"Do it. Trust me this will work...cut the guy some slack. He's deserving of her."

I looked at her. "Trust has to be earned and you're only _half_ way there."

Out of the corner of my eye I saw the wolf boy shift in his seat and fidget with the thick cord on his hoodie.

I looked back at my muse who was happily sitting on my shoulder with her tiny legs crossed at the ankles.

She looked at me encouragingly. I looked back at Embry and sighed.

"Very well. I have just the person in mind." Saying this I reached into a desk drawer, pulled out my cloth covered notebook, and opened up a new page. I looked at him again and then penned in the changes I was making to remember when the time came to introduce them.

Embry looked like he wanted to run around the room. "Thank you! I'll treat her like royalty! I promise you won't regret this!" He then dropped a leather pouch on my desk and then promptly ran into my heavy wooden door.

He didn't seem to register the fact that he'd just injured himself. Even if he had, it'd be healed back up in 20 minutes flat. He only grinned widely at me before running for the tree line.

Minutes later I heard the howl of a wolf. I chuckled at the joy that resonated from the wolf who'd left a small dent in my door...before picking up the leather pouch and untying the cord.

I dumped the contents on the desk and saw a leather bracelet with a deeply red stone of some kind embedded in the middle of it.

It was definitely home made and one of a kind. Fitting payment for the imprint I was about to bring into his life.

I turned my head to look at my muse with a raised eyebrow. "You really think he's good enough for Mercedes?"

She grinned back at me. "Yeah. They're perfect for each other."


End file.
